Monday, September 19, 2005

wearing a mask

Do you eva wish that we can understand wat our other half is thinking about?I really wished that I understood zhongwei!but I dun!

I disappeared for 1whole nite...but he din bothered abt me at all...no calls no msg...almost as if I neva existed!maybe i'm childish...but deep in my heart I wished that there were some reaction from him...

Feeling kind of lost now...jus having a kind of empty feeling inside me!a fear that is growing bigger and bigger each passing day!it is almost as if that the fear is eating me up!i'm losing more of myself each day...

it's almost as if u are looking at urself foom a third person's pt of view!something that u can't control!a feeling that u want to cry but cannot cry...

Everyday I dread waking up...coz I have to spend another day pretending to be happy when i'm not...

The only time when I was happy was when I am wif him!even hearing his voice makes the impossible seemed like a breeze!is that wat u call love?a simple fone call no matter how long or short,makes me yearn for it the entire day!silly rite?

But i'm not sure if he shares the same feelings!he does not seemed enthusiastic when I call him...is he tired?is he feeling bored?i'll neva noe!

I wished there was a place where I could hide away from the rest of civilization...where I do not need to wear a mask to face a mask...


{9/19/2005 11:39:00 pm}

I wish I could soar
And tell the world...
I want to be with you